Ragged Christmas Crackers
by The Ragged Flags
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Digital Album
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1. |
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Wrap up tight it’s that time of year
Give us a smile for your Christmas cheer
Heading home for a week or more
Family fighting ‘fore you’re in the door
Christmas at my house
Turkey’s too dry but the booze won’t run out
Christmas at my house
Turkey’s too dry but the booze won’t run out
Granddad’s hanging round the locked sweet jar
Grandma’s left in the back of the car
Mum is fussing round the cold turkey
Dad is waiting for the old Queen’s speech
Sister arguing with her boyfriend
Bond film on the telly again
Mum makes brother do the washing up
Dad has gone upstairs to sleep it off
Christmas at my house
Turkey’s too dry but the booze won’t run out
Christmas at my house
Turkey’s too dry but the booze won’t run out
Wrap up tight it’s that time of year
Give us a smile for your Christmas cheer
Heading home for a week or more
Family fighting but they’re still yours
Christmas at my house
Turkey’s too dry but the booze won’t run out (Come on over)
Christmas at my house
Turkey’s too dry but the booze won’t run out (Come on over)
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Now the nights are all early, the cold’s drawing in
Wake or leave work and it’s dark once again
You long for the Summer that’s lost round the bend
But Christmas is my time of year
Yeah Christmas is my time of year
Now I’m not religious and I don’t believe
I don’t know the significance of the tree
But I’m all aglow like the lights in the street
‘Cause Christmas is my time of year
Yeah Christmas is my time of year
Now when I was younger I worked in a shop
The same Christmas songs on a loop that won’t stop
They’ll drive you insane while shoppers run amok
But Christmas is my time of year
Yeah Christmas is my time of year
It’s time for your family and time for your friends
The ones that you love and the ones you depend
On keeping you warm ‘til the Spring comes again
That’s why Christmas is my time of year
Yeah Christmas is my time of year
That’s why Christmas is my time of year
Yeah Christmas is my time of year
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3. |
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This office party’s really underway
Here all the drinks are flowing, see all the people sway
A long hard year ticked off the calendar
Signals the time to sit on the photocopier
I see you watching me across the room
You’ve got that look about you, I know that pretty soon
You’ll sidle up to me and then you’ll say
“Come on it’s Christmas baby, let’s both just slip away”
But don’t meet me under the mistletoe
If I’d’ve wanted you then by now I’d’ve let you know
Don’t lie to me or make me promises
I know it happened once but it can’t happen again
Now tongues are loose and inhibitions free
Everybody’s racking up their regrets for January
The boss is overhearing things obscene
There’s wine spilled on the phones and
Beer in the fax machine
I know we kissed that time
On the spring team building exercise
But we have to leave those passions in the past
From working grind we flee
But that cupboard’s meant for the stationery
We both know these office romances don’t last
But don’t meet me under the mistletoe
If I’d’ve wanted you then by now I’d’ve let you know
Don’t lie to me or make me promises
I know it happened once but it won’t happen again
I know it happened once but it won’t happen again
I know it happened once but it won’t happen again
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4. |
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Where would you like to be on your Christmas Day?
Look outside through the rain at the city grey
Maybe we’ll, just for once, up and fly away
Heading south to the sun where the dolphins play
Now there’s crackers and there’s maracas
As we party on the beach
Drink coladas under the palm leaves
Lit up like a Christmas tree
Now there’s crackers and there’s maracas
As we party on the beach
Drink coladas under the palm leaves
Lit up like a Christmas tree
Feel the sun, feel the sand in between your toes
Now there’s too many people and too few clothes
Not a cloud in the sky, just the song of birds
So we’ll dance ‘til the dark in the rolling surf
Fly away, maybe we’ll fly away
Maybe we’ll fly away for Christmas Day
But it feels a bit strange to be frank with you
‘Stead of turkey and sprouts eating barbecue
And they still use the same iconography
Ads with Santa and snow play in boiling heat
Now there’s crackers and there’s maracas
As we party on the beach
Drink coladas under the palm leaves
Lit up like a Christmas tree
Now there’s crackers and there’s maracas
As we party on the beach
Drink coladas under the palm leaves
Lit up like a Christmas tree
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Now Christmas Day is dawning and
It’s time to open up your gifts
But the things that you’re receiving
Could you give them any shorter shrift?
‘Cause I wrapped up all my love and left it right at your feet
But to my amazement you then asked to see the receipt
And you disregarded effort un-benevolently
Oh I never dreamed the thing you’d be returning was me
I got the re (re) regifting blues
I got the re (re) regifting blues
You didn’t use to seem ungrateful
Though your friends would tell me all the time
How they would buy you special presents
And just watch you pass them down the line
All the thoughtless things you bought me
Which I took with a smile
All the jokey Christmas jumpers that were totally vile
All the times I choked back all my disappointment and grief
It’s not the thought that counts it’s you
That wants to count the money
Now Christmas Day is dawning and
It’s time to open up the door
I’ll be walking out for Christmas
And you won’t be seeing me no more
‘Cause the warranty’s expired on the love in your heart
But I guarantee tomorrow is a brand new start
And I’m sure you’ll find someone to boost your sense of yourself
But for my part baby I’ll just put you back on the shelf
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6. |
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You know I don’t like socks
And I don’t want socks for Christmas
But for some reason you buy them every year
When I come down to the tree
And I see the shapes before me
I can tell right from the feel just what this present is
Socks! Socks again!
It’s socks! Socks again!
You know it sucks — it sucks my friend
To get socks! Socks again!
Socks again!
Why would you buy me this?
Have I contrived to offend you?
Did I screw up somewhere on the way this year?
I remembered your birthday
And I nailed our anniversary
So why at Christmas are you punishing me with
But now I think of it
I don’t ever buy my own socks
They somehow just appear there in the drawer
It’s the little things that count
It’s the way I know you love me
And how every year together you give more
Socks! Socks again!
It’s socks! Socks again!
You know it sucks — it sucks my friend
To get socks! Socks again!
Socks again
Socks again!
Socks again!
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It’s my birthday at Christmas but my name’s not Jesus
It’s my birthday at Christmas but my name is Dave
You could say that I’m a trier but I’m not the new Messiah
It’s my birthday at Christmas once again
Many years ago one Christmas morning
For all humanity a new era dawning
There was a baby born so extraordinary
For avoidance of confusion I am talking about me!
But every year I get the same old story
No one available for my birthday party
Everyone’s busy with their Christmas plans
If I start my own religion maybe they will turn up then
As birthdays go, Christmas Day is the worst
Out of the holidays, I’d pick any other first
New Year or Valentine’s might make you sob
At least you’re not competing with the son of God!
And do you know what I find really galling?
December twenty-fifth’s not His actual birthday
We didn’t have Christmas ’til 400 A.D.
It was just a Pagan festival, are you f**kin’ kidding me?!
It’s my birthday at Christmas but my name’s not Jesus
(No I’m not Him!)
It’s my birthday at Christmas but my name is Dave
(Oh you know my name!)
You could say that I’m a trier but I’m not the new Messiah
(Not the Messiah!)
It’s my birthday at Christmas
It’s my birthday at Christmas
It’s my birthday at Christmas once again
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Dead of night in a quiet house
And not a creature stirs
Wait for the footfall up on the roof
A creak upon the stairs
Then suddenly all the kids awake
To see what Santa brings
Enough noise to make the whole house shake
As Christmas Day begins
So come on down with me
And sit beside the Christmas tree
While their little faces glow so happily
’Cause you and I we know
The past is young but the future’s old
So unwrap your present now with family
Now there’s paper all around the house
And strewn across the floor
Find the sherry while the children shout
Think we can take one more
So come on down with me
And sit beside the Christmas tree
While we hold each other close so happily
’Cause you and I we know
One day you’re young and the next you’re old
So unwrap your presents now with family
This is why we work all year
Why we suffer life’s indignities
All to see those beaming faces
Sat beside the Christmas tree
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It’s Christmas Eve now in the city
No strangers just friends yet to meet
Waited all day to drink our cares away
And then stagger out into the street
The year it must come to an ending
We knew it would fail all along
List all the rules for these fine festive fools
As they sing you their salvation song
We dance our dreams in the gutter
I walk with you stuck to my side
Howling all night midst the bright fairy lights
And the smell of communion wine
These feelings of Christmas are fleeting
The days that we’d pay to prolong
No guarantee of a fine melody
For these singers of salvation songs
We are our own congregation
A voice that we raise through the throng
The night it was cold but the stories we told
As they flowed in your heart kept you warm
If you’ve found a love that sustains you
A place where you feel you belong
If no one else heard would you whisper the words
To the singers of salvation songs?
It’s Christmas Eve now in the city
And everyone’s drifting away
Heading back home you know you’re not alone
As the churches ring out Christmas Day
When battling days are before you
When all that you know has gone wrong
Raise up your glass in a toast to the last
Living singers of salvation songs
Raise up your glass in a toast to the last
Living singers of salvation songs
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10. |
Christmas In The Rain
03:33
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Hang out the lights and put up the tree
We’ve waited and planned so expectantly
But everyone sometime
Spends Christmas in the rain
You know it’s a season that’s hard for some
The skies may be grey but our hearts are warm
So hold onto each other
This Christmas in the rain
It’s gonna rain my love
But Christmas Day has come
We’re heading home
It’s gonna rain my dear
But I will hold you near
‘Til winter’s gone
Think of the faces you don’t see there
At everyone’s table stand empty chairs
But they’ll live in our memories
Each Christmas in the rain
These are the thoughts that are bittersweet
The young ones that they had no chance to meet
But we sing out their stories
At Christmas in the rain
These are the days of our Christmas cheer
To lay down the burdens we’ve borne all year
As we gather together
This Christmas in the rain
Each day’s a gift that you give in kind
Together the weather we’ll pay no mind
‘Cause everyone sometime
Spends Christmas in the rain
Yes everyone sometime
Spends Christmas in the rain
Yes everyone sometime
Spends Christmas in the rain
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11. |
Blue Baubles
03:44
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Festive season can really get you down
Every minute of every day
You’re always running around
Have you been neglectful of your other half?
Take some time when Chistmas rolls around
To take the pressure off
Because Christmas can be a sexy time
Maybe pour a little cup of eggnog
Or a bottle of wine
Wrap the presents for your near and dear
Then get yourselves a little piece of action
For your Christmas cheer
When it’s Christmas everybody glows
Feeling frisky in the falling snow
Getting nowhere whatcha gonna do?
Tree lights are red but my baubles are blue
Now the mood’s changed in this house of mine
Christmas morning has come at last
And we’re feeling fine
We’ve been up all night ‘cause we’ve been wrapping gifts
So while we’re here we thought we might as well
Just make the best of it
Christmas time but don’t hate the playas
‘Cause you know some folk get turned on by layers
When it’s cold outside wrap yourself tight
Just like a Christmas gift to last through the night
When it’s Christmas everybody glows
Feeling frisky in the falling snow
Getting nowhere whatcha gonna do?
Tree lights are red but my baubles are blue
How ‘bout you?
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about
Every year from 2012-21 (usually at the last rehearsal of each year) the Flags wrote and recorded an original Christmas song, as a little present from us to you. Every Christmas song is collected here, fully remastered from the original recordings. Plus a bonus *eleventh* song!
Check out the individual single releases for B-sides, alternative versions and special mixes. A very Merry Christmas to everyone!
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RAGGED CHRISTMAS CRACKERS
This all started as a bit of a lark. We were in a dingy old rehearsal space near Borough tube for our last band practice of 2012. We jammed on some Christmas tunes, considered recording one. The others nipped outside for a quick break and I was alone in the room. Suddenly a melody popped into my head and I sat down and wrote ‘Christmas At My House’. Took as long to write as it does to sing it aloud.
The rest of the band came back in, we played it through and then recorded it, put it online with an image of Paul in a Santa hat. I came up with another tune in the last rehearsal of 2013: ‘My Time Of Year’. The following year we put a bit more planning into it and made ‘(Don’t Meet Me) Under The Mistletoe’, and we were really off to the races.
The pattern was established: every year we would write and record a brand new Christmas original. The idea grew into an experiment: why not create a whole Christmas album, one song at a time? Could we do this year in, year out?
There were times, I must be frank dear listener, where finding new angles on Yuletide every year was tricky (yes: I *do* have a family member who was born on Christmas Day, but no, their name is not Dave). Somehow, every time, we did it. I resolved to get to ten songs and then finish; we would say every year in our email newsletter that we would probably take next year off, but always knew better (don’t tell anyone I told you so). As it happens, we did eleven, with a bonus track for this collection.
An important point: not all of these songs are jokes. There are a few outright ‘comedy songs’ here, but some heartleft ones too. ‘Crackers & Maracas’ sprang directly from a conversation in a pub, though even there I found I had something to say about the dislocating experience of Christmas in a sunny climate. The same goes for ‘Socks Again!’ — even when tongue was firmly in cheek, we wanted to communicate real personal joys and experiences.
This all started as a bit of a lark... and stayed one, right to the end. What more could you want for Christmas? Thanks for listening along with us. Ho-ho-ho. Also: we’ll definitely be taking next year off. We mean it this time.
James Goodwin
North London, November 2021
Check out the individual single releases for B-sides, alternative versions and special mixes. A very Merry Christmas to everyone!
______________________
RAGGED CHRISTMAS CRACKERS
This all started as a bit of a lark. We were in a dingy old rehearsal space near Borough tube for our last band practice of 2012. We jammed on some Christmas tunes, considered recording one. The others nipped outside for a quick break and I was alone in the room. Suddenly a melody popped into my head and I sat down and wrote ‘Christmas At My House’. Took as long to write as it does to sing it aloud.
The rest of the band came back in, we played it through and then recorded it, put it online with an image of Paul in a Santa hat. I came up with another tune in the last rehearsal of 2013: ‘My Time Of Year’. The following year we put a bit more planning into it and made ‘(Don’t Meet Me) Under The Mistletoe’, and we were really off to the races.
The pattern was established: every year we would write and record a brand new Christmas original. The idea grew into an experiment: why not create a whole Christmas album, one song at a time? Could we do this year in, year out?
There were times, I must be frank dear listener, where finding new angles on Yuletide every year was tricky (yes: I *do* have a family member who was born on Christmas Day, but no, their name is not Dave). Somehow, every time, we did it. I resolved to get to ten songs and then finish; we would say every year in our email newsletter that we would probably take next year off, but always knew better (don’t tell anyone I told you so). As it happens, we did eleven, with a bonus track for this collection.
An important point: not all of these songs are jokes. There are a few outright ‘comedy songs’ here, but some heartleft ones too. ‘Crackers & Maracas’ sprang directly from a conversation in a pub, though even there I found I had something to say about the dislocating experience of Christmas in a sunny climate. The same goes for ‘Socks Again!’ — even when tongue was firmly in cheek, we wanted to communicate real personal joys and experiences.
This all started as a bit of a lark... and stayed one, right to the end. What more could you want for Christmas? Thanks for listening along with us. Ho-ho-ho. Also: we’ll definitely be taking next year off. We mean it this time.
James Goodwin
North London, November 2021
credits
released December 10, 2021
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The Ragged Flags are:
James Goodwin - vocals, rhythm guitar, keyboards
Mark Aldworth - lead guitar, mandola, piano, backing vocals
Chris Edwards-Dewey - bass, backing vocals
Paul Whibley - drums, backing vocals, bells & whistles
Fiddle on 'Salvation Song' by Jessie Morgan
All songs by The Ragged Flags
Music by Aldworth/Edwards-Dewey/Goodwin/Whibley
Lyrics by Goodwin (©2021 Copyright Control. All Rights Reserved)
Produced & Mixed by The Ragged Flags
Recorded at Borough Studios, Paddington Blares, Highbury Studios, Britannia Road, Brockley Studios & Stokey Cokey Studios
Remastered by Marten Darlings at Stokey Cokey
Sleeve Photography by Sam Whibley
Sleeve Design by James Goodwin
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______________________
The Ragged Flags are:
James Goodwin - vocals, rhythm guitar, keyboards
Mark Aldworth - lead guitar, mandola, piano, backing vocals
Chris Edwards-Dewey - bass, backing vocals
Paul Whibley - drums, backing vocals, bells & whistles
Fiddle on 'Salvation Song' by Jessie Morgan
All songs by The Ragged Flags
Music by Aldworth/Edwards-Dewey/Goodwin/Whibley
Lyrics by Goodwin (©2021 Copyright Control. All Rights Reserved)
Produced & Mixed by The Ragged Flags
Recorded at Borough Studios, Paddington Blares, Highbury Studios, Britannia Road, Brockley Studios & Stokey Cokey Studios
Remastered by Marten Darlings at Stokey Cokey
Sleeve Photography by Sam Whibley
Sleeve Design by James Goodwin
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license
all rights reserved
tags
about
The Ragged Flags UK
The Ragged Flags are a UK four-piece with their own distinctive sound incorporating the essential natural juices of rock, pop and folk with the lovely chunky bits of country and blues.
discography
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Dec 2021 -
Dec 2021 -
Feb 2021 -
Jun 2020