Ragged Christmas Crackers

by The Ragged Flags

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about

Every year since 2012 (usually at the last rehearsal of each year) the Flags have written and recorded a Christmas song. Every song is collected here as a little present from us to you! Check out the individual single releases for B-sides, alternative versions and special mixes. A very Merry Christmas to everyone!

credits

released December 14, 2016

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The Ragged Flags are:
James Goodwin - vocals, rhythm guitar, keyboards
Mark Aldworth - lead guitar, backing vocals
Chris Edwards-Dewey - bass, backing vocals
Paul Whibley - drums, bells & whistles

All songs by The Ragged Flags
Music by Aldworth/Edwards-Dewey/Goodwin/Whibley
Lyrics by Goodwin (©2012-2017 Copyright Control)

Produced & Mixed by The Ragged Flags

Sleeve Photography by Sam Whibley
Sleeve Design by James Goodwin

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The Ragged Flags UK

The Ragged Flags are a UK four-piece with their own distinctive sound incorporating the essential natural juices of rock, pop and folk with the lovely chunky bits of country and blues.

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Track Name: Christmas At My House
Wrap up tight it's that time of year
Give us a smile for your Christmas cheer
Heading home for a week or more
Family fighting 'fore you're in the door

Christmas at my house
Turkey's too dry but the booze won't run out
Christmas at my house
Turkey's too dry but the booze won't run out

Granddad's hanging round the locked sweet jar
Grandma's left in the back of the car
Mum is fussing round the cold turkey
Dad is waiting for the old Queen's speech

Christmas at my house
Turkey's too dry but the booze won't run out
Christmas at my house
Turkey's too dry but the booze won't run out

Sister arguing with her boyfriend
Bond film on the telly again
Mum makes brother do the washing up
Dad has gone upstairs to sleep it off

Christmas at my house
Turkey's too dry but the booze won't run out
Christmas at my house
Turkey's too dry but the booze won't run out

Wrap up tight it's that time of year
Give us a smile for your Christmas cheer
Heading home for a week or more
Family fighting but they're still yours

Christmas at my house
Turkey's too dry but the booze won't run out (Come on over)
Christmas at my house
Turkey's too dry but the booze won't run out (Come on over)
Track Name: My Time Of Year
Now the nights are all early, the cold's drawing in
Wake or leave work and it's dark once again
You long for the Summer that's lost round the bend

But Christmas is my time of year
Yeah Christmas is my time of year

Now I'm not religious and I don't believe
I don't know the significance of the tree
But I'm all aglow like the lights in the street

'Cause Christmas is my time of year
Yeah Christmas is my time of year

Now when I was younger I worked in a shop
The same Christmas songs on a loop that won't stop
They'll drive you insane while shoppers run amok

But Christmas is my time of year
Yeah Christmas is my time of year

It's time for your family and time for your friends
The ones that you love and the ones you depend
On keeping you warm 'til the Spring comes again

That's why Christmas is my time of year
That's why Christmas is my time of year
That's why Christmas is my time of year
That's why Christmas is my time of year
Track Name: (Don't Meet Me) Under The Mistletoe
This office party's really underway
Here all the drinks are flowing, see all the people sway
A long hard year ticked off the calendar
Signals the time to sit on the photocopier

I see you watching me across the room
You've got that look about you, I know that pretty soon
You'll sidle up to me and then you'll say
"Come on it's Christmas baby, let's both just slip away"

But don't meet me under the mistletoe
If I'd've wanted you then by now I'd've let you know
Don't lie to me or make me promises
I know it happened once but it can't happen again

Now tongues are loose and inhibitions free
Everybody's racking up their regrets for January
The boss is overhearing things obscene
There's wine on the phones and beer in the fax machine

But don't meet me under the mistletoe
If I'd've wanted you then by now I'd've let you know
Don't lie to me or make me promises
I know it happened once but it can't happen again

I know we kissed that time
On the spring team building exercise
But we have to leave those passions in the past
From working grind we flee
But that cupboard's meant for the stationery
We both know these office romances don't last

But don't meet me under the mistletoe
If I'd've wanted you then by now I'd've let you know
Don't lie to me or make me promises
I know it happened once but it can't happen again

Don't meet me under the mistletoe
If I'd've wanted you then by now I'd've let you know
Don't lie to me or make me promises
I know it happened once but it won't happen again
I know it happened once but it won't happen again
I know it happened once but it won't happen again
Track Name: Crackers & Maracas
Where would you like to be on your Christmas Day?
Look outside through the rain at the city grey
Maybe we'll, just for once, up and fly away
Heading south to the sun where the dolphins play

Now there's crackers and there's maracas
As we party on the beach
Drink coladas under the palm leaves
Lit up like a Christmas tree
Now there's crackers and there's maracas
As we party on the beach
Drink coladas under the palm leaves
Lit up like a Christmas tree

Feel the sun, feel the sand in between your toes
Now there's too many people and too few clothes
Not a cloud in the sky, just the song of birds
So we'll dance 'til the dark in the rolling surf

Now there's crackers and there's maracas
As we party on the beach
Drink coladas under the palm leaves
Lit up like a Christmas tree
Now there's crackers and there's maracas
As we party on the beach
Drink coladas under the palm leaves
Lit up like a Christmas tree

Fly away, maybe we'll fly away
Maybe we'll fly away for Christmas Day

But it feels a bit strange to be frank with you
'Stead of turkey and sprouts eating barbecue
And they still use the same iconography
Ads with Santa and snow play in boiling heat

Now there's crackers and there's maracas
As we party on the beach
Drink coladas under the palm leaves
Lit up like a Christmas tree
Now there's crackers and there's maracas
As we party on the beach
Drink coladas under the palm leaves
Lit up like a Christmas tree
Track Name: The Regifting Blues
Now Christmas Day is dawning and
It’s time to open up your gifts
But the things that you’re receiving
Could you give them any shorter shrift?

‘Cause I wrapped up all my love and left it right at your feet
But to my amazement you then asked to see the receipt
And you disregarded effort un-benevolently
Oh I never dreamed the thing you’d be returning was me

I got the re (re) regifting blues
I got the re (re) regifting blues

You didn’t use to seem ungrateful
Though your friends would tell me all the time
How they would buy you special presents
And just watch you pass them down the line

All the thoughtless things you bought me which I took with a smile
All the jokey Christmas jumpers that were totally vile
All the times I choked back all my disappointment and grief
It’s not the thought that counts it’s you that wants to count the money

I got the re (re) regifting blues
I got the re (re) regifting blues

Now Christmas Day is dawning and
It’s time to open up the door
I’ll be walking out for Christmas
And you won’t be seeing me no more

‘Cause the warranty’s expired on the love in your heart
But I guarantee tomorrow is a brand new start
And I’m sure you’ll find someone to boost your sense of yourself
But for my part baby I’ll just put you back on the shelf

I got the re (re) regifting blues
I got the re (re) regifting blues, oh boy I’m telling you
I got the re (re) regifting blues
I got the re (re) regifting blues
Track Name: Socks Again!
You know I don’t like socks
And I don’t want socks for Christmas
But for some reason you buy them every year
When I come down to the tree
And I see the shapes before me
I can tell right from the feel just what this present is

Socks! Socks again!
It’s socks! Socks again!
You know it sucks — it sucks my friend
To get socks! Socks again!
Socks again!

Why would you buy me this?
Have I contrived to offend you?
Did I screw up somewhere on the way this year?
I remembered your birthday
And I nailed our anniversary
So why at Christmas are you punishing me with

Socks! Socks again!
No, socks! Socks again!
You know it sucks — it sucks my friend
To get socks! Socks again!
Socks again!

But now I think of it
I don’t ever buy my own socks
They somehow just appear there in the drawer
It’s the little things that count
It’s the way I know you love me
And how every year together you give more

Socks! Socks again!
It’s socks! Socks again!
You know it sucks — it sucks my friend
To get socks! Socks again!
Socks again!
Track Name: Birthday At Christmas
It’s my birthday at Christmas but my name’s not Jesus
It’s my birthday at Christmas but my name is Dave
You could say that I’m a trier but I’m not the new Messiah
It’s my birthday at Christmas once again

Many years ago one Christmas morning
For all humanity a new era dawning
There was a baby born so extraordinary
For avoidance of confusion I am talking about me!

But every year I get the same old story
No one available for my birthday party
Everyone’s busy with their Christmas plans
If I start my own religion maybe they will turn up then

As birthdays go, Christmas Day is the worst
Out of the holidays, I’d pick any other first
New Year or Valentine’s might make you sob
At least you’re not competing with the son of God!

And do you know what I find really galling?
December twenty-fifth’s not His actual birthday
We didn’t have Christmas ’til 400 A.D.
It was just a Pagan festival, are you f**kin’ kidding me?!

It’s my birthday at Christmas but my name’s not Jesus
(No I’m not Him!)
It’s my birthday at Christmas but my name is Dave
(Oh you know my name!)
You could say that I’m a trier but I’m not the new Messiah
(Not the Messiah!)
It’s my birthday at Christmas
It’s my birthday at Christmas
It’s my birthday at Christmas once again
Track Name: Beside The Christmas Tree
Dead of night in a quiet house
And not a creature stirs
Wait for the footfall up on the roof
A creak upon the stairs

Then suddenly all the kids awake
To see what Santa brings
Enough noise to make the whole house shake
As Christmas Day begins

So come on down with me
And sit beside the Christmas tree
While their little faces glow so happily
’Cause you and I we know
The past is young but the future’s old
So unwrap your present now with family

Now there’s paper all around the house
And strewn across the floor
Find the sherry while the children shout
Think we can take one more

So come on down with me
And sit beside the Christmas tree
While we hold each other close so happily
’Cause you and I we know
One day you’re young and the next you’re old
So unwrap your presents now with family

This is why we work all year
Why we suffer life’s indignities
All to see those beaming faces
Sat beside the Christmas tree

So come on down with me
And sit beside the Christmas tree
While their little faces glow so happily
’Cause you and I we know
The past is young but the future’s old
So unwrap your present now with family
With family
With family
With family